LeBron James Has a Receding Hairline?

LeBron James

Image by yourFAVORITEmartian via Flickr

Let me preface this post by saying that LeBron James is the best basketball player on the planet, hands down (seriously, put your hands down, it’s distracting).

He just kind of has a questionable hairline.

Now, I know I’m not the only one who’s noticed the King’s increasing dependency on the head band over the past few seasons to conceal his fleeing follicle line.  It’s pretty blatant.  But, LeBron has played this pretty smartly from the get go, rockin’ the head band since high school, since having a full, tight line.

Unfortunately for number six, that NBA logo just isn’t big enough to disguise his disappearing do, and ESPN’s Mike Hill and Jay Harris call him out (and each other) in their latest webisode of Both Sides of the Ball.

Hill takes the opportunity to jokingly compare James’ “three-quarter full” hairline to his lacking ability to finish games, while Harris says “The Chosen One ” had an inspiring dream of hairline revival, only to wake up to the sad, hairless truth.

Nevertheless, James, like all of us, is in a bit of a recession, and one YouTuber lends his analysis on a recession that may never upswing.

I don’t know about you, but I watch a lot of basketball, so I think I’m qualified to propose a thought here:  LeBron James touches his head band more throughout the course of an NBA game than the basketball.  I’m just saying, it’s a fact.  Watch that dude drive to the hole and take a hard foul.  What’s the first thing he does?  He doesn’t check to make sure all his limbs are intact or if he’s dripping blood from his face.  No, immediately he’s at the head band, adjusting and aligning it to its proper place.

And if he loses the head band completely?!

It’s over.  All concentration is lost.  The focus has shifted from catching touchdown passes from D-Wade to now locating and reapplying the superband (yes, I am implying that LeBron James’ headband has superpowers).

So what does this all mean?  What is it really about?

Well, I’m pretty sure it means that the closer LeBron’s hairline gets to the back of his head the closer he gets to a championship.  So, for the sake of all LeBron fans out there, “Hairline, just ‘keep backin up, backin up.”


Follow me on Twitter @Long_And_Gangly


About Long & Gangly

I'm 23, live in St. Louis and am careerly-unemployed (that means I have a job, just not in the field in which I paid for a degree). I aspire to have a real job.

Posted on September 9, 2011, in Sports and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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